Wedding Invitations Make Your Own

Question: I need help with how to make out my wedding invitations!?

(Posted by: anna_prentice on 2010-03-03 15:16:24)

So, my fiance and I are getting married next year. His family and him have been estranged for many years. We may invite them but they will not be contributing towards the ceremony or reception. My mom is refusing to come to the wedding. She and I have had a strained relationship for 12 years. My father is going to be paying for everything. However, for planning, my mom's sister, who is like a mom to me will be helping. My dad is remarried though my stepmom and I aren't close. Using my Dad and Step mom as John and Jane Doe and aunt as Rachel Smith, How should the invitations be written "Mr. John Doe, " "Mr John and Jane Doe, " "Mr John Doe and Rachel Smith, " "Mr John and Jane Doe and Rachel Smith " invite you...

Posted by: aspasia on 2010-03-03, 16:25:54

This is actually a very traditional situation, and the traditional wedding wording would be: Miss Rachel Smith requests the honour of the company of <write-in the guests' names > at the wedding of her niece Anna Prentice to Mr Handsome Guy at ... This is based on the old-fashioned (and correct) notion that finances are to be kept private, and what really matters is who is stepping up to act as hostess and take care of the responsibilities to the guests. It's normal in these situations for the bride's father to fund the event while relying on the bride's closest kinswoman to take care of all those planning details that make men quail. It is also based on the old-fashioned but no-longer-correct notion that you and your fiance will be recognized by name by whomever Auntie Rachel sends invitations to, so you can use the new form of Miss Rachel Smith requests the honour of the company of <write-in the guests' names > at the wedding of her niece Anna Prentice daughter of Mr John Doe and of Mrs Vera Estranged to Mr Handsome Guy son of Mr and Mrs Thomas Guy at ... If you know stepmom and mother are going to be offended by that perfectly correct old form, then you do what you have to to keep the peace, and the high sticklers for etiquette will rightly guess that the many parents involved are more worried about their own prestige and getting credit, than about your happy day. And, since we high sticklers think your happy day is more important than EITHER correct etiquette or your parents' prestige, we'll overlook the innovations and wish you the best. All the best, my dear.

Posted by: Amy on 2010-03-03, 15:21:52

"Together with their family "...im a wedding planner and that is typically how such a invitation is done since its a weird one.

Posted by: richard on 2010-03-03, 15:25:46

It should be Mr and Mrs Doe and a separate invitation to Ms Smith (plus guest). However I would make it out to their first names eg. Dad and Jane and a separate one to Auntie Rachel (plus one). Think that is nicer for a wedding especially for parental figures, Mr and Mrs is way to formal.

Posted by: iloveweddings on 2010-03-03, 15:26:50

Hi Anna and congratulations on your upcoming wedding. Are you sure that you want to include the names? This is very, very confusing because no one will know (unless it's family) that Rachel Smith is your aunt. I would suggest, as the other poster did, to use: Together with their families Cindy Lou Doe and Ryan Thomas Johnson request the honor of your presence etc., etc. If you insist on using the names, then I would go with: John and Jane Doe along with Rachel Smith request the honor of your presence at the marriage of Cindy Lou Doe to Ryan Thomas Smith etc., etc. However, when a name is used....such as John and Jane Doe, you usually say "at the wedding ceremony of THEIR DAUGHTER ". However, if you include your aunt, you cannot use that wording....so it's awkward. Again, I would go with "together with their families ". It will be much easier for your guests to read.

Posted by: Cranberry on 2010-03-03, 16:19:57

I agree with "together with their families ", because if you have to mention the names of all contributing people, it would be too lengthy and too confusing.

Posted by: teresathegreat on 2010-03-03, 16:36:24

"Bride Name and Groom Name, together with their families, invite you to.. " s a simple way to avoid all the confusion and drama. Otherwise, I suggest leaving off the titles, and listing the host names alphabetically - John and Jane Doe and Rachel Smith invite you to the wedding of Bride Name to Groom Name, son of John and Susan Johnson. "

Posted by: Paula12481632 on 2010-03-03, 16:39:43

Traditionally it's the parents (or in this case, only one parent). However you can't omit his wife, so it's: Mr John and Jane Doe It's nice that your aunt is helping, but her name doesn't belong on the invitation. It's the same as if your maid of honour was helping organise, her name wouldn't belong on it either. EDIT after reading the above responses: further on it could say "to the wedding of his daughter " or "to the wedding of John's daughter " to make it clear that Jane is not your mother.