Wedding Invitations Make Your Own

Question: Where are brides getting the idea it is okay to include registry info with the wedding invitations?

(Posted by: Ms. X on 2010-07-08 12:20:11)

Are the bridal magazines and websites, who are far more beholden to their advertisers than the brides, now telling brides that this greedy behavior is okay? Ah ha, so I see the stores are behind this! Why am I not surprised? :- ) Jaded, I'm sorry you felt I was personally calling you greedy. You may be the nicest, non- greediest person on Earth, but the behavior of enclosing registry information with a wedding invitation is considered greedy by many, including myself. It is perfectly acceptable to include it with shower invitations as showers are not thrown by showeree (bride or expecting mother) and are for the purpose of showering gifts onto the showeree. The purpose of a wedding is to celebrate one's nuptials, NOT to give gifts. Thus, gifts should not be solicited by the couple. You can provide the registry info only if asked. It should never be provided unsolicited.

Posted by: Garnet Glitter's No BS Zone on 2010-07-08, 13:31:43

When I married the first time in 1974, the very FIRST thing my mother did was get a well respected book on wedding etiquette...EVERYTHING was done PROPERLY. My mother's approach did not surprise me as my grandmother, her mother, had an upper class finishing school education when gals were taught the social 'arts' as well as getting an excellent education-she often helped my uncle with his calculus homework and helped my aunt with her latin when my aunt went to nursing school. What these young gals don;t realize is sale folk, especially in the chain jewelry stores, are people off the street who are given a quick training period then sicked on the unsuspecting public....they fill bridal' heads with made up BS all geared to make a sale/ commission. EVERYONE planning a wedding should pick up a book on wedding etiquette and use THAT as the last word, not some dumb dame trying to make a sale who is willing to spout off a lot of Who Shot John for the Almighty buck.

Posted by: Froufrou on 2010-07-08, 12:22:43

I think it must be coming from the registry people or the invitation people. I don't think much of it, either.

Posted by: pathological on 2010-07-08, 12:24:14

When I registered for my wedding, I was handed cards from the store and encouraged to put them in my invitations. Fortunately for my guests, I knew better than to actually use them, so they went in the trash can. I think alot of brides now are just spoiled and used to getting what they want. I also think that these brides assume they are somehow entitled to a gift that they themselves have chosen. This sense of entitlement is usually the product of their parents.

Posted by: Pax on 2010-07-08, 12:24:32

I've never seen it done before, yet I think it's kind of tacky!

Posted by: Arizona Indian Doll on 2010-07-08, 12:25:05

I find it appalling myself. It's one thing to have the people planning a shower pass on where the bride is registered but it is tacky beyond belief to include that information with the invitation. What gift gets given is up to the person attending not the bride. Aside from which, from what I've seen, brides today tend to register at places too expensive for the average individual to handle anyways. Greed has infiltrated everything in this country.

Posted by: Blunt on 2010-07-08, 12:27:04

It comes from the merchants that only hold their on interest in stake. They even have coupon cards that are given to the couples after they register to send with the invitations! sooo trashy! Corporations only care about selling stuff, they don't care if you look like a boor. Good luck

Posted by: Oot n Aboot on 2010-07-08, 12:27:22

Convenient, not greedy. Instead of making a guest who would want to buy a gift, figure out who to ask and where to go, the info is in black and white in front of them (if they so choose of course). I think it also depends on your social group. If people have always done it one way then you will go ahead with that for your wedding.

Posted by: Court2114 on 2010-07-08, 12:27:42

I've seen some wedding websites as i've gone about my planning that have suggested it. But truth be told, it does seem very tacky and expectant. I know that people taking the time to attend my wedding and share that moment with my fiance and i is gift enough. However, our wedding website has extra information, including registry info, and the (http) will be at the bottom of our invitations. Even though i'm doing it this way...i have gotten wedding invitations that come with inserts the have a list of their wedding registries. While it's not for me, i don't throw a hissy fit over it and i still give a gift. Some people don't have the time to make a website, or the money to have it made. Sometimes it's hard to get around by word of mouth. Who exactly do you tell and how do you tell them? Your mom or bridesmaid and say "spread the word "? That's just as tacky in my opinion. I wouldn't put registry info on or in our invitations...but i'm not offended by those who do.

Posted by: Messykatt on 2010-07-08, 12:28:09

Here's my philosophical answer :) As weddings become more and more "complex ", more and more entities are becoming invested in promoting these greedy behaviors - it's how they make their living. So brides who are naive often get advice from these vendors under the mistaken impression that they know what they're talking about, because they do this for a living. I have to confess, I often wonder where their mothers are! Mine would have knocked me upside the head with a 2 x 4.

Posted by: JonnyLungs on 2010-07-08, 12:31:56

Phhht! Greedy nothing!! If the guests can't bring a present to the shower or wedding that covers their meal/ drinks then they should not even attend!! I'm kind of kidding, but seriously I have not heard of that either and my wife has read every bride mag and and watched every bride show under the sun! However, her mom let everyone on our list know where we were registered by sending them cards separate from the invites. Whenever we said anything to anyone about feeling "guilty " or "greedy " they would just scoff and say it's normal. I guess if your not shy and want stuff from the place you took hours registering at, then no, it's not greedy at all. On the other hand, if you are browsing their registry and everything is $100 and up, then yeah, that is greedy!

Posted by: Amber S on 2010-07-08, 12:48:23

I think it depends on the formality of the wedding. A wedding invitation including registry information that is for a super formal wedding with 300+ guests at a country club would be all wrong. It was confusing to me, as I have always received invites with the registry info, and when I was assembling my own invitations I didn't even know it was not proper ettiquite to do so. It was not easy for me to do once I found out! I decided on including registry info with invitations to those who would be expecting and wanting the info, or not receiving a shower invite, and left them out of the others.

Posted by: Blackberries on 2010-07-08, 13:04:33

I put my registry info on my details card in my invitation. I am neither greedy, spoiled, or entitled. My excuse was ignorance. When I got married, the only weddings I had ever attended were for relatives, and I was usually the flower girl, guest book attendant, and I was a bridesmaid in my dad's wedding to my step-mom. In all of these weddings, I was a minor. I never received a wedding invitation. As a child, you see weddings with all the "trappings ". Gifts just seem to go hand-in-hand. Kind of like Christmas. Is it greedy, spoiled, or entitled to expect gifts on your birthday or Christmas? Not when it seems customary in everything you've seen your entire life. It didn't occur to me that things would be any other way. When I was going over my invitations with my wedding coordinator, I asked her where we should include the registry info. Her answer was a little fumbled, but I didn't pay much attention. Now, I know she must not have known how to politely tell me not to put the registry info on the invite! I wish she would have just come right out and said so. Obviously I had no idea, I'd think it was her job to tell me. So I asked her to just put it on the details card. How was I to know? This was before I discovered the wonderful world of Yahoo Answers. My mom didn't know any better. Either did my grandmother! Maybe I should have bought an etiquette book when I got engaged. It my youth and ignorance, I didn't realize there were so many rules that weren't to be broken. Now I know, and I'll do my best to politely and graciously share what I know with other people so they won't make the same mistakes I did.

Posted by: CorpCityGrl on 2010-07-08, 13:21:29

I don't even blame retailers on this because they've been giving out these for a long time as a courtesy. However, I think many brides find it okay to put them in wedding invites because of ignorance of because their peers tell them it's okay and say "who cares what people think. " Like you, I don't think it's okay and my family would have a heart attack if they ever saw this. We've come to a point though in society where greed wins over anything and it's noticeable in the way people act and how little regard they oftentimes have for etiquette or for even what's polite. Weddings are no longer seen as these solemn occasions but rather gift-giving, money-making ones which is sad to see because it's lost its significance.

Posted by: drop_in_the_ocean_2006 on 2010-07-08, 13:24:36

To be honest that is how it was always done in our family. There was just a little piece of paper in the invitation envelope saying where the couple is registered. After my invites were sent out my mom said "we forgot to put something in there saying where you were registered at " and i informed her that is is actually not in good taste to do that and she said "at least we did something right " (lol) but any way i don't think its that big of a deal for couples to do so especially now were so many couples live together before they are married they pretty much have everything that they need. Who needs 10 toasters and 20 blenders? But I do also see why people see it as greedy and tacky. but not as bad as only requesting Best Buy gift cards for your wedding ( my fiance's cousin got married last year and this is what they did slip of paper in the invitation and all... needless to say they got a picture frame from us)

Posted by: Jaded on 2010-07-08, 14:02:13

You are likely asking this because you answered my question about this. I did not get my idea from anyone. I thought the most logical place to put this info. would be with the invitations. Where else can they obtain this info without you having to tell them directly (which I think is rude in itself)? I don't have and don't plan on having a wedding website, so that is not an option for me. I also don't expect my guests to buy me a gift, and I am in no way greedy. I would not think it was rude if someone sent registry info. with their invitations. In fact, I would appreciate it for saving me the question and work of figuring out what they want. I'm not a petty person, so things like this don't bother me. This is my first wedding and I am clueless about certain things, which is why I ask questions on Yahoo answers. I'm looking for answers not criticism by miserable people who have nothing better to do than pass judgment all day. By the way, if I remember right, your answer was RUDE. I have planned baby showers for people and have included the registry info. in the invitations. This is why the idea occurred to me. Because a baby shower is way different than a wedding, I asked the question so I would not come off as rude to my guests. It is in no way possible to know all aspects of wedding etiquette unless a) you are a wedding planner or b) you have been married multiple times. I'm guessing yours is b.

Posted by: joswicho on 2010-07-08, 17:25:20

It just makes it alot easier for us or bride and grooms not gready