Wedding Invitations Make Your Own

Question: Is it rude to pull a wedding invitation because of cost?

(Posted by: tristan on 2010-07-11 13:42:32)

A closer friend of mine sent out his wedding invitations several months ago to myself "and guest ". I was single at the time, but recently entered a relationship and RSVPed with a guest. I received an apology today that unfortunately due to the mounting costs my guest would no longer be able to come. I'm pretty good friends with this person, but feel extremely annoyed by this. I don't want to tell someone they can't come after they've committed to it. Am I wrong?

Posted by: Jane on 2010-07-11, 13:45:48

It is kind of rude. If money is tight they should have just insisted only the people on the invitation could come (as many people do). Unless every single guest has recently acquired a new relationship its pretty rude.

Posted by: Nora on 2010-07-11, 13:48:15

Very tacky of them stay home

Posted by: Garnet Glitter's No BS Zone on 2010-07-11, 13:48:25

He is wrong for pulling the invite snce he extended 'and guest' to you from the beginning...the polite response to his rude behavior is decline the invite out of your respect for your relationship, since he can not respect it nor the 'and guest' he initially extended to you.

Posted by: Chloe on 2010-07-11, 13:49:02

It's EXTREMELY rude on his part, unfortunately there is nothing you can do about it. If you feel very strongly about proving a point, then don't attend. Otherwise, you'll be going alone.

Posted by: Tricia G on 2010-07-11, 13:58:43

Big picture time...even if your friend was incredibly rude by rescinding your "and guest ", is being right worth your friendship and is it worth missing her wedding? You can be annoyed as much as you want, but only you know how important the friendship is to you and whether or not you want to see your closer friend get married...regardless of whether or not you attend with a date. Is your annoyance worth losing this friendship....especially considering that you've only known this new guy for very short time...and he might not be in the picture 6 months from now. Since this is a closer friend of yours...it isn't exactly like you will be sitting all by your lonesome at the reception. Since this is a closer friend of yours, don't you have some friends in common who will be at the wedding? Don't you know her parents and siblings? You were planning on going and having fun at this wedding before you met new squeeze. You will still have fun regardless of whether new squeeze is there. Only you can decide how valuable this closer friendship is to you.

Posted by: Rainbrain on 2010-07-11, 14:14:01

It's rude. Bad handling of the situation.

Posted by: monkeytoes on 2010-07-11, 14:25:56

That is so rude! I can't believe someone would do that!

Posted by: Macy the Wedding Planner on 2010-07-11, 14:33:15

Wow, that is just plain rude. I think I would skip that wedding. They knew darn well when they sent out invitations how many guests were coming and how much it was going to cost. It is too late to for them to try to change invites now. I would call your friend and let him know that both you and your guest won't be coming. Tell your guest that you and the groom have parted ways so neither of you will be attending the wedding - no need to explain why - just say you had a serious disagreement.

Posted by: Jennifer on 2010-07-11, 14:48:40

You have a few ways to handle it, and I agree with the big picture comment as well. I'm sure that your friend has some kind of embarrassment and perhaps chose you to "uninvited " the guest due to your closeness and felt that you'd be more understanding. With that being said, if you'd like to still go to this wedding and continue being friends, and bring a date you could attend the ceremony, skip the dinner, and show up during the dancing festivities. You and your date can have a nice dinner together somewhere that you enjoy and not have to worry about the mindless dinner chat if you're stuck with strangers- chances are mom and dad (if you know them) will get premium seating because they're the parents and you won't get to see them. It stinks and i would definitely be annoyed as well but if you'd like to maintain the friendship as well as keep your date I'd see that as the only solution. Many people are invited to the ceremony and party and not the dinner, so it's not like you'd be the only person coming later; call your friend, explain that you don't want to uninvite your date, so you will be seeing them at their wedding; however you will not be making the dinner. You can tell your date the truth, due to the economy there were some changes in the wedding plans, that you still would like them to come with you etc. Hope all ends up for the best!

Posted by: Perse on 2010-07-11, 14:50:32

Definitely rude. People need to figure out costs before mailing invitations, if they haven't done their homework, that is their mistake and they're the ones to eat it.

Posted by: Jesmo on 2010-07-11, 15:47:23

Honestly that was messed up I guess the assumed that you wouldn't bring anyone and that was just crossing the line all the way around. As for the bride and groom I am sorry to burst their bubble 20% of the guests that claim they will attend usually don't "feel like it " I saw a forum where a Bride was upset that people RSVP and they did not even show up and ended up costing them to eat 1k of the cost. If you want to go thats being a good friend but you can also see closer to the date if someone else called and told them they couldn't attend the likely hood is very common.

Posted by: tickled pink or blue baby #2 on 2010-07-11, 21:45:17

That is incredibly rude of tour friend.....id have to say something to them about it. thats rude, classless, and trashy they should have thought about that BEFORE they sent out invites.

Posted by: Saoirse on 2010-07-12, 01:30:44

Ya it's kinda rude but in the grand scheme of things is it really worth upsetting your friends for? Sure they should have known their budget, but many things go wrong and cost money to fix when planning a wedding. As a close friend they probably thought that you would understand their predicament and be happy to come alone if it meant helping them out. I wouldn't take it to heart but try and think of it as how they must really think your such a good friend that they could approach you for help.

Posted by: Liz on 2010-07-12, 01:48:03

It's very rude. These people should have done their math and figured out how many guests they could afford BEFORE sending out invitations. If I were you, I'd send my regrets.

Posted by: truefirstedition on 2010-07-12, 08:23:59

Your friend is in the wrong here. Rescinding an invitation like that is totally, inexcusably rude. But at the same time, you don't have many options: 1. Apologize profusely to your guest, but attend by yourself because you want to keep this friendship. 2. Tell your friend that you understand his situation, but in that case you'll have to decline the invitation, and no hard feelings. So go alone or don't go at all. Either way, you get to feel morally superior to your bad-mannered friend ;)