Wedding Rehearsal Make Your Own

Question: Who do you invite to the wedding rehearsal dinner?

(Posted by: Michael D on 2009-07-02 05:53:35)

My parents are paying for the wedding rehearsal dinner and obviously will be the ones inviting guests. They only want to invite the people in the wedding party and grandparents. I want to invite the wedding party's husbands/ wives, but my parents claim the only people who should be invited to the rehearsal dinner are the people in the wedding. So yahoo, I ask, who is invited to the wedding rehearsal dinner?

Posted by: Elsie on 2009-07-02, 06:38:31

If the members of the bridal party are married (or engaged to be married), then their spouse/ fiance should absolutely be invited to the rehearsal dinner. If they live out of town, but are traveling with a date, that date should also be invited. It is rude to expect someone to sit in a hotel room alone while their companion is out having a special meal. Now here's where things get sticky. If all of your attendants have a guest at the rehearsal dinner, but you have one or two who live in town and have a boyfriend/ girlfriend, they're probably going to be upset that their significant other was not invited if all of the other attendants who are married or came in from out of town get to bring a guest. Very formal etiquette says that ALL guest who are in town the night before the wedding should be invited to the rehearsal dinner. The argument here is that these people traveled all that way to see the bride, groom and their families, and then they don't spend any time with them when they arrive. We did this at our wedding for a variety of reasons: Almost all of our guests were from out of town, we wanted to be able to spend as much time as possible with them in relaxed atmosphere before the stress of the wedding day and we paid for our own rehearsal dinner, so we could invite whoever we wanted. If it's a cost issue, you can do one of 2 things: Offer to pay for the guests of your attendants yourselved or suggest a more casual/ informal/ inexpensive dining option for the rehearsal dinner. My older brother and my stepdaughter both had their rehearsal dinners at a pizza place. It was fun and relaxing for everyone, and it didn't cost them a fortune to have 50-60 people there. The bottom line is that this is not about food, it's about people and getting everyone together in a relaxed atmosphere before the craziness of the wedding the following day. If your parents absolutely will not bend and invite your attendant's significant others, then plan a post-dinner party at your house for everyone (and maybe don't invite your parents;-)

Posted by: Dee Dee on 2009-07-02, 05:59:41

Many people may have thier options onthis but it depends on which direction you want to go with it. If your going to present sumthing to your parents and his parnets then invite them a few aunties if they helped you and the bridal party. I mean i think it's who ever helped with the wedding. plan and simple. Because if you don't limit yourself then you have crying kids everywhere and they arrive late and etc. Hope this helps

Posted by: jon d on 2009-07-02, 06:00:20

It is rude to ask participants in the wedding party to come without their significant others if they are involved in a relationship or married. Immediate family, grandparents, the wedding party and their significant others are generally the group invited to a rehearsal dinner. Perhaps there is concern for limiting the cost of the dinner by asking the wedding party to come as individuals. This is something you might want to discuss with your parents to maybe suggest something more informal or less expensive than a fancy dinner.

Posted by: Lovely Lady 27 on 2009-07-02, 06:04:53

I say invite the significant others. They are dealing with the wedding too. The bride doesnt' notice, but the bridesmades and groomsmen are away from their sig others alot while preparing for your weading. It would be nice to invite them and say thank you for letting us borrow your wives/ girlfriends whatever. If they cant' afford to pay for all those people, then only the wedding party. I've never been to one where the other halves weren't invited.

Posted by: taylynn on 2009-07-02, 06:08:05

I think it depends on how traditional your wedding will be. In my opinion its completely acceptable to invite the wedding party's spouses or significant others to the rehearsal dinner. At least my husband and I did at ours. Unless its a problem of finances, which that would be quite a few extra mouths to feed. If that's the case i would say stick with the wedding party:)

Posted by: ilyE on 2009-07-02, 06:14:02

Well if your parents are concerned about the budget then that may be why they are choosing just the wedding party..which i dont blame them especially if your having a huge wedding with lots of bridesmaids and groomsmen. my cousin did it this way and still had their partners and/ or children attend the dinner but all paid for their meal since they arent serving in the wedding. besides the money issue, I personally WOULD ALLOW the servers wives, husbands, and children to attend the dinner, but thats it

Posted by: nova_queen_28 on 2009-07-02, 06:22:39

Essentially your parents are right. HOWEVER, if any of the wedding party is from out-of-town, their spouses will have travelled with them and an invitation ought to be extended to them so they aren't stuck in a strange city with a takeout pizza menu while their spouse is out at a nice dinner.

Posted by: Toxic Panduh on 2009-07-02, 06:24:00

There is nothing concrete but I think it is appropriate for the spouses of those in the wedding party to attend the rehearsal dinner as well (we also included the Pastor and his wife). Some people do include all members of the immediate family into the rehersal dinner (brothers, sisters, aunts, uncle, out of town guests), even if they aren't in the wedding party. However, that can get expensive VERY quickly (to the point where it is patently unfair to the grooms parents). Edit: After the rehersal dinner, we had the out of towners and others meet at a local bar / pool hall to just meet, socialize and screw around for the eve (they had to pay for their own damn beer though).

Posted by: Mrs Noel ♥6/19/2010♥ on 2009-07-02, 06:33:55

I've always been told that you're supposed to invite bridal party attendants, their significant others or parents (for the kiddies, if having them in the wedding), and any out of towners who are already in the area for your wedding. There will be alot of people (guests) flying or driving in from as far as Florida or Kansas (wedding is in Ohio) for mine, so I'm definitely inviting them to the rehearsal dinner. If they choose not to come, that's fine, but I want to give them at least one option of something to do the night before the wedding. We're having a pretty low key rehearsal dinner, though. My Fiance is paying for it, and we're just doing barbecued chicken and ribs in our backyard.

Posted by: elizabeth on 2009-07-02, 06:36:48

Here is a site that should help you plan who to invite to the rehearsal dinner. ehow.com/ how_2188921_make-rehearsal-dinner-guest-list.html best of luck and congrats!

Posted by: iloveweddings on 2009-07-02, 06:48:32

Hi. Sorry, but your parents are wrong. Those invited to the rehearsal are: ~ Anyone involved IN the wedding AND their spouse/ significant other. ~ If you are having young children (flower girl/ ring bearer), then those children ALONG with their parents are invited. Now, many people do understand that things are pricey in today's world, so if you only want to invite those actually involved in the wedding (and leave off their spouses/ significant others) then that is your choice. Some people do this and others do understand. But proper etiquette suggests that they (the spouses/ significant others) be invited. Now, if you have someone that is "single " then, NO, they do not usually bring a "date " to the rehearsal dinner.

Posted by: Jen on 2009-07-02, 06:58:57

There are not firm lines, but generally the wedding party first, then out-of-town guests, then spouses of wedding party, then extended family. Sounds like you should go with just the wedding party plus the loving addition of the grandparents.

Posted by: grammie on 2009-07-02, 07:07:57

Usually the attendants and their partners, along with grandparents,god parents.

Posted by: Linda on 2009-07-02, 08:21:32

It all depends on the budget. Some people have huge ones with the wedding party, their families, and out of town guests. That was what I had in mine. But others just invite the wedding party, which is okay too.